LOYAL TO THE END
Greetings to one and to all. Today is a beautiful day, and if you are indeed alive, you can attest to the simple truth that it is good to be alive. With that out of the way, I would like to get down to the meat of the matter. The matter of loyalty as it directly relates to friendship is weighing heavily upon me.
A true friend is very scarce. They are more valuable than their weight in gold and precious stones. Many of us have hoards of acquaintance, whom we call friends, and so misuse the noble word "friend." First let us define what a friend is. According to the World English Dictionary here are a few definitions.
1. a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty; an intimate
2. an acquaintance or associate
3. an ally in a fight or cause; supporter
The value that is found in friendship is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis: tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy and empathy, honesty, trust, mutual understanding and compassion, and positive reciprocity.
Now, I urge you take a moment to pause for a brief assessment. Consider all the people you know, including the ones you call "friends," and compare their qualities/actions to those I have just listed. As you will discover, you have far fewer "friends" than you thought. Good people, one thing is for certain; it is impossible to be a true friend without loyalty. Loyalty is something that can't be bought at any price. It is something that comes from deep within the heart. Very few know of loyalty, and show loyalty while many do not have the slightest inkling of what loyalty means. Loyalty means standing by your "friend," or loved one in the midst of calamity. It means supporting them to best of your mortal ability when they need you. It means taking a stand with them on issues they feel strongly about. It means never giving up on them regardless of how many times they fail you. It means not just pretending to be someones friend to milk them for their "goods" and then leaving when you have bled them dry. That's just using someone and people do it everyday. Cleverly, they disguise themselves as friends to get close enough to you to snatch what you have. Then they up and leave. Be VERY wary of this type. For this reason it often takes me many years to establish a friend. I have to be certain that anyone in my life is there with the best of well to do intentions, and above all, that they are truly loyal. This, good people, is what money can never buy. I have spent many years searching for those "friends" from past times only to discover that they were never my friends in the first place. It finally occurred to me that if someone is absent in your life, there is a definite, purposeful reason behind their removal. I had to learn the hard way to accept this as for the better. So you ask why would I search for those who were disloyal to me? Well, at one point these "associates" were whom I considered to be good "friends." I thought I could recapture the essence of what was before. They never showed any signs of treachery or backstabbing, however, time revealed their true identities to be false. I am thankful each day to God for the TRUE friends that he has placed in my life. Once again you ask how do I know these to be true? They have remained even when the others disappeared and faded away. Take a moment to consider all those who have left out of your life. Also, take a moment to think about who NEVER left, and who still remains. There is a difference right? Right away you were probably able to determine your true "friends." You know, the loyal ones. There is a valuable lesson to be learned in all this. First of all, take it from me. Don't waste your time looking for a person(s) who isn't looking for you. If you were important enough to them, they would be trying to find you as well. Don't worry about those who are no longer in your life; they were removed for a reason and it should be this way. The past is indeed the past, so there is a reason it did not last. With true friends you won't have to force them, or beg them to practice loyalty. It will come naturally for them. The relationship won't be forced either. If you are having to force anything, I would venture to say that it most likely isn't meant to be. Value your true "friends." Forget about the ones who aren't true. No day is promised to any of us, so we should use our time carefully to nurture and pour into those lives of our friends. You should probably be able to count your "true" friends on one or both hands, and that's pushing it. If you have more than that, you're probably just naming "associates." Lets just be honest, no one knows that many loyal people but plenty of us have associates. I can certainly count my true friends with little more than one hand. They know who they are. It is very likely that it is you reading this blog. Pat yourself on the back because I appreciate and respect you. You can rest assured that I am that loyal friend, and hopefully one that you counted on your list. Here is what the Word of God has to say about loyalty.
Proverbs 27:10 Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity ; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.
Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Matthew 18:15 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
John 15: 13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
It is sad but true that I am closer with some non-blood friends than I am with much of my blood related family. Funny how life works right? Even the Bible confirms the value of a true friend in Proverbs 27:10.
In closing I would like to state that my greatest friend is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The fact that he has already laid down his life to pay the price for my sins (something my earthly friends could never do) is the greatest example of loyalty/love that I have to offer. I don't mean that my friends now wouldn't risk their life for my own, or that I wouldn't do the same for them. I simply mean we haven't and so Christ has already beaten us to the punch according to John 15:13. When others have failed me Jesus has been there to console me. When I have turned away from him, he forgave me over and over, inviting me back to Him each time with open arms. With earthly acquaintances you may only have to cross them once for them to disown you forever. HE has offered me an ear for listening when no one else would. He has been there through every battle I have faced, when often so-called friends have left me to stand alone. He has NEVER let me down, or failed me. Oh did I mention he paid the price for my sins (meaning EVERY evil deed I have done or will do)?
This good people is loyalty that money can't buy. This is a true friend that money could never buy. When I think about what makes a good friend, I look at Jesus for the perfect example. True enough, my earthly friends are not perfect (as I am not) however, as true friends we should aspire to possess the qualities/standards set by Christ (our perfect example). This is the only way we can be assured that we are worthy of, and living up to the honorable title of "friend."
As always, Truth is freedom, Knowledge is power!
